Are You Ready to Heal Your Eating Disorder?
I know I can help you if you’re still struggling, yet ready to heal your eating disorder. This is why I’ve designed my Yoga for Eating Disorders Trainings.
After many dedicated years of unravelling what my disorders were really about, I want to share with you everything that I can, so you can be free too.
Having walked through both the dark and the light paths, I know now where there’s ease and a way to heal your eating disorder. I know how to name what’s happening and how to hold space for you to embark on your journey towards recovery. Each of our recovery paths will be unique and this is your time to find your way – and I would be privileged to be your guide along the way.
I started young.
After putting myself on my first diet when I was 9, I purged for the first time at 13, was officially underweight with heart problems at 17. I was anorectic and bulimic for 23 years. I hated my body, I hated myself, and life always felt like a struggle. Eating, sleeping, joy, self-love, being around people, standing up for myself, choosing me – all of that was hard. There was a lot of unnamed pain I never wanted to look at. Most of the time I didn’t even want to be here on this planet, thinking this would be my struggle for the rest of my life.
Despite all this – I was also on a mission to heal. When I was 17, I started meditation and yoga. That helped tremendously. I started teaching at 22, feeling empowered and that I was healed since “yoga saved my life.”
I didn’t understand why I kept regressing.
Despite my commitment to my practice, I found that it was easy for me to regress and I couldn’t understand why. I felt ashamed, like I should know better and why didn’t I have the strength to heal and why did I secretly always want to be smaller and different than who I was?
In fact I found that the more trainings and “healings” I’d do, sometimes my eating disorder would get even stronger. My relationship with food and my body was my dirty little secret to carry and I didn’t know what to do.
While no yoga practice seemed to save me, I felt ashamed. I felt pressured to keep my body a certain way for the public eye and while I may have looked “healthy” on the outside, I simply used “detoxes, fasts and cleanses” as ways to hide my disorder. It never felt safe to be with myself.
Now I’m thriving instead of surviving.
I finally hit a new bottom and started to understand my behavior and what my anorexia, bulimia, and overeating was really about. Ready to truly heal and through the combination of meditation, movement practices, shamanic work, craniosacral therapy, energy practices, spiritual psychology, somatic experiencing, and trauma therapy, I found my way through. Finally I can say I’m free now. Part of this was that I was really ready to heal – and I was open to methodologies that worked for me.
When we say healed – that doesn’t mean life hasn’t stopped challenging me – as we’re always up-leveling in our growth – but now I can meet life. Instead of using my eating disorders as a way to hide and manage my pain, I know I have the strength and kindness to meet what’s showing up.
As someone who has recovered from eating disorders, I know firsthand:
- the fear that dominates;
- the struggle that seems to never end;
- navigating the desire to heal along with the fear of: who am I if I am healed ?
- the fear of my body changing
- how overwhelming it can even get to be intimate with one self;
- the fear of my own power and intimacy with others;
- the fear of surrender
- what it’s like to finally trust.
I created these eating disorder support programs for you, because I know what we first choose to use as freedom can end up being just another prison. I found that my spiritual practices went from something that seemed to open up a new world yet those possibilities also turned into a restrictive way I had to be. We are so skilful, in how our past or current history as gymnasts, dancers, overachievers and perfectionists can still keep us rigid. That old pain and trauma, especially sexual trauma, can echo in our system; we want to get it out yet we don’t know how. While sometimes there seems to be a greater force that controls us, it’s time to find the force within us that can set us free.
So if you’re ready to heal your eating disorder, ready for your freedom, if you’re ready for your power and if you’re ready to live life – join this Yoga for Eating Disorders Training: Your commitment that will open up the world to you in a more expansive way and you get to come home to yourself again.