Love in the Time of Corona

I’m realizing there was never a heart break in the first place. That the power of my heart is bigger than any flimsy episode of reality. My timelessness is greater than these small moments. I will keep breaking my own heart, until I wake up and see what I’ve been doing to myself.

If life is my practice of freedom, what’s the point of following lines that make no sense, when I always feel a pulse pulling me elsewhere? - from the "Love in the Time of Corona" a Corona Diaries series of Morning Pages entries, written while Cat is stranded in Australia. I told myself yesterday that I could be timeless, that I could step out of time. That the whole world has stopped so I can step out of time, finally just go at my own time. I’ve always felt trapped by grids, by insane rhythms, by others’ fears and expectations,...

It is Sunday. Easter. This holiday was never a big deal to me as a kid (Santa beats the Bunny, right?)... from the "Love in the Time of Corona" a Corona Diaries series of Morning Pages entries, written while Cat is stranded in Australia. It is Sunday. Easter. This holiday was never a big deal to me as a kid (Santa beats the Bunny, right?) One of my favorite memories was being young with my parents, walking through the park. For some reason my older siblings weren’t around that day and I was young enough that my little sister wasn’t born...

“Yogi,” he said to me, “you’re supposed to be good at the calm. And you’re freaking out. I know you think of all of these terrible possibilities in how you’re going to die but right now – you need to stay focused.”

Let Love In: Maybe It’s Time To Stop Fighting, from the "Love in the Time of Corona" a Corona Diaries series of Morning Pages entries, written while Cat is stranded in Australia. I’m realizing I have to let you love me. Maybe we are all trapped where we are to see how we have forgotten to let love in. Why did I come here otherwise? [VIEW MORE VIDEOS ON CAT'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL] I haven’t written lately and I’m forgetting that writing is my medicine. It’s my way to crawl out of the holes I get trapped in. I’m so good...

My Only Power is Prayer: How I'm handling Self Quarantine, from the "Love in the Time of Corona" a Corona Diaries series of Morning Pages entries, written while Cat is stranded in Australia. My only power is prayer. I woke up this morning, grumpy as usual. Magnificent dreams happen when I sleep but then when I wake I think, “Fuck, here I am.” My boyfriend is getting ready for work. He doesn’t want me on the computer. I love my morning routine, my aloneness and I want quiet, coffee. Sitting under trees, I want to to watch the light on...

I didn’t choose Bali. Bali chose me. I didn’t know why then I had to spend so much time thanking the land, the spirits of Bali, for all the support and love you’ve given me for 15 years. I couldn’t tell you why these “no’s” were happening and I wanted to fight this but this is what death teaches us: the ultimate surrender.

from the "Love in the Time of Corona" a Corona Diaries series of Morning Pages entries. I hear you in my head sometimes. “Princess,” you like to call me. I want to pretend it’s not true… but it is.

Corona Diaries series of Morning Pages entries: Yesterday I thought this was all a mistake. My choosing to stay here instead of going home to Bali. I have searched for home all my life. I have to spend so much time now in our closet and look at what I usually hide.

From the “Love in the Time of Corona” a Corona Diaries series of Morning Pages entries: What if all this is happening to remember who we are? Nothing is normal and yet there still is normal. We have to wash our clothes and eat. I still do my work but in new ways. I feel like a child again because...