On Creativity, the 2nd Chakra and Inner Blocks of Suspicion.
Every time I teach these chakra energy trainings, I know the initiation that each person must go through in order to go beyond their creativity blocks and wake up these other parts of their brains.
I was gifted a keyboard Saturday, which I think is perfect considering I’ve been recently teaching about creativity and the 2nd chakra (Svādhiṣṭhāna).
I’ve been playing the piano since I was young, but never felt an affection or necessity for it until I was allowed to play as my own.
Everything has a voice and nothing is a problem.
When I get moody or have emotions that need a place, but I’m not sure how to be with them, I’ll sit at the piano and just let the notes express themselves. Suddenly there’s texture, color, clashing, and sensations allowed to surface. Everything has a voice and nothing is a problem. I would imagine the same feeling can be with painting.
When I surf I get a different kind of release.
Knowing that the waves aren’t personal – I can’t control them. I have a choice to either ride them or dive under. When I’m caught in a heavy set, my only choice is dive under, hold my breath, let the waves do their thing, relax as much as possible and then come back up for air.
A couple of you (in my current Online Energy Training), wrote me some questions that’s sparking what I’m about to say.
When I started this work, although I was always in some ways sensitive and creative, my family appreciated my more scientific side. I was either going to be a doctor or engineer – and in fact received a scholarship for my work in the sciences (which luckily I bent towards African studies). Since those of you who have sent me money for trainings (thank you!) you have seen, that my sir name is actually Littmann – someone in our family lines invented the stethoscope.
We had gone bankrupt by the time I went to college; I had to keep my scholarship.
So there wasn’t that same feeling of freedom that I could be casual about what I studied. I was anorexic at the time and was exhausted from working so hard in school. Through all the therapy I had done, I also knew that my healing wasn’t going to happen from conventional medicine. It was going to happen by getting real with my own spirit and finding God through art.
Inner blocks of suspicion.
Despite the personal freedom and empowerment that I’d found, as I explored my own artistic expressions and experiences I’d had in the energetic world, I found inner blocks of suspicion. As I got more and more into this work, (which happened naturally) because the very logical, analytical and scientific part of me, I just didn’t know how to make sense of this energetic world I was encountering.
“But how do you know this?”
How can I understand much less explain something that is happening all at once – at times that aren’t just now – but at all times: parallel, past, future and present? These things that speak in color, rhythms, and texture, require a different kind of sensing, that no one else seemed to be talking about? How can I explain this other knowing that I have, like if you said, “But how do you know this?” I somehow can’t answer you. Art was where this did have a place.
For thousands of years only one kind of knowing has been celebrated while the rest has either been not fully explored, left out, dismissed or even mocked. If we can acknowledge this, then we can understand our own resistance, hesitation and even distrust of a different kind of knowledge.
Every time I teach these energy trainings
…for a week or even months, I know the initiation that each person must go through in order to wake up these other parts of their brains. Waking up the other parts of their knowing, depending upon their previous work, how they have spent their time, including the culture from which they came, can be easier for some and really difficult for others.
We won’t even know how much resistance we have to opening up the other parts of our knowing, until after the fact. We won’t realize how much in our head we are, until we get out of it.
I remember as I was waking up in a new way in my mid-twenties – how terrified my mother was of me. She didn’t understand my seeing – how I saw what I saw -and why I made the choices that I do. In a way, she was the perfect reflection of my own fear if I really owned this – would I be crazy? Would people get me? Am I totally off-base or is this real?
Energy work is why I didn’t kill myself.
Even when I started teaching energy work – which to me was EVERYTHING. It’s why I didn’t kill myself. It’s how we work through trauma – it’s our relationship with true reality – not the illusion – and it scared some of my students because just through my own suggestions, it threatened their own 3-D relationship which was “safe” linear, organized, something to understand and control, in some ways something we can even “win” at.
Usually people work with me when life has given enough surprises and hard times to make them realize, “Ok there’s something else here.” Or something has woken up in them that’s outside of the normal – and they want to dive deeper in there. They already have their own waking up that’s starting to happen.
A long time ago I decided I never want to convince anyone. The work speaks for itself.
So this is a very long way of me saying that part of our initiation is your time and space to contact your feminine self. Your inner knowing. And to create a relationship with that part of you who knows in a different way. Einstein himself said that we’re neglecting most of our brain power (I’m horribly paraphrasing). To be a pioneer of thought and to step out of myopic vision, we need to be willing to be creative and realize that’s an intelligence itself.
On Creativity, the 2nd Chakra (Svādhiṣṭhāna) and Inner Blocks of Suspicion.
Most people wonder how I come up with the things I come up with – whether it’s through movement or writing or music – or even how I design my life (and surprisingly suddenly how I cook in the kitchen). I feed my creativity. It’s my direct connection to God. And to be creative I don’t say, “SHOULD I do this? Is this right?” I don’t ask, “Why is it this way?” I step into a space of trust and let it flow – even though I have no idea about what’s going to come through and get surprised myself by the outcome.
Often times people ask me, “How did you know that?”
I didn’t..is my answer…but I let it come through.
I said “God is everything,” and they thought I was stupid.
Often what wants to come through us looks so different from what everyone else is doing; our own fear of which causes blocks. I remember at age 6 we had to draw a picture of God. My classmates drew grass, trees, oceans and flowers, in beautiful greens, pinks, blues, oranges, and yellows. I drew a big ball of ugly chaos – blacks browns and greys – with beautiful colors woven through and a rainbow over it all.
How do we block our own creativity?
It takes guts to let yourself differentiate – which I will talk more about in our 3rd chakra.
So what we are waking up – how do you value your own imagination? Is it something valuable? Do you know how to play?
I have seen how my students, those who feel stuck over the years, have forgotten how to play and its value.
We need a space where we don’t have to be good – we’re doing it for the sake of doing.
A few of my students have said, “I’m not sure if this was just my imagination or….”
That already tells me how you value your imagination.
When I was 18 years old and only 38 kilos, I had a vision of myself going to Africa.
That’s a whole other story. But that’s what got me through the first two years of school. I knew there was healing in West Africa for me. In some ways, I created it. I somehow managed my science scholarship to work towards my newly designed African Studies major and – despite the terror of my family – I moved to the 2nd poorest country in the world and had the time of my life.
I didn’t let anyone stop me. If they talked about my age, money, safety – all the practicalities – they could have killed this dream.
But I didn’t let them.
That’s one thing kids and teenagers have that as we hit our 30s onwards we lose. In some ways the practicality is great and I am extremely practical. But we lose that part of us that can vision and go for it.
Expectation KILLS creativity.
How do you block your own vision? What wants to come through?
In “Big Magic” Elizabeth Gilbert talks about how inspiration will come to you. But you either will ignore it or grab it at that very moment and let it come through.
Usually we block things because we are fixated on how things must look. We miss the present moment if it doesn’t match up in our head. How willing are we to open up to new possibilities?
What helped me so much in my healing work is that I am open to so many possibilities. No one taught me that we have ancestral imprints – I discovered that while doing work (and later on discovered – oh other people see that too!) No one told me my emotions are also in my body – I discovered that the first time I sat. I am a firm believer that if you can get intimate with yourself you will be in awe of what you discover.
I invite you to ponder:
“How do I allow other knowing(s)?”
If the 2nd chakra is: your relationship with creativity, sexuality, boundaries, career (and self esteem) and that first chakra balances/imbalances will also affect it – so pleasure is also important here – what you value versus your tribe, there’s so much to explore.
How much do we allow our own creativity be what wants to come through even though it’s not what we think it should look like? How do we even step into this part of our self? Remember that as women – 2nd chakra and 6th chakra have a direct line.
Your own sexuality – how much of it is your own and how much is it taught? Let’s get real – sex ed and pornography KILLS our real pleasure. What actually gives us pleasure is outside of any of the norm – and there’s a space of new knowing there.
How much of our relating with others is because, this is how we do it in society, versus this is what nourishes me?
Our society isn’t yet a balanced loving state. So to own a new way of relating with oneself and others could actually be healing.
How much of our career is the product of expectations of family, self and culture, versus what we want to do?
Can we be a creative synthesis and dare to let pleasure be part of our work?
Boundaries aren’t just boundaries with one another. It’s also about boundaries with self. We can also put boundaries on the vagrants and parasites that confuse and bring us down. Boundaries can hush the lies and criticism that we put on ourselves, as told by the voices inside of us that aren’t our own true voice.
Imagination and Creativity is Power.
Read this, digest it, see what sparks. But the bottom line is – imagination and creativity is power. It’s how we create the world. We dream alone and we dream together. If we can be conscious of how powerful we can be in our creativity – and allow our feminine self to sense and experience – there’s magic in there.
I do palmistry as a gift to others in person – and although I was trained in it – what I found was that I can glance at a hand and I receive messages. I was great in my 20s when I would go to clubs and get drunk because I’d lose my filter, ha ha. At the club I would get people coming up to me a month later saying, “I did what you said! Thank you so much!” I would look at them with a smile and feeling truly bewildered say, “I said what?” and they would talk about what came through.
I don’t recommend getting drunk.
In fact we have so much magic inside of us that most drugs, alcohol, plant medicines numb that connection. While for some alcohol can loosen that tight grip we have (on how we must be, what we must see, what we must feel and say), I don’t recommend getting drunk.
We’re all looking for a way to let it out. So that’s where I could see that medicine side.
So when I look at a palm – I get information and there’s metaphors and messages scribbled on the palm of everyone’s hand. I can’t tell you how I know it because no one taught it to me and it wasn’t from a book. I”m tapped into that other knowing. This isn’t a power some of us have -this is a power all of us have – though how we connect to it is uniquely our own. It has to be.
So this is my invitation to you:
Make space to the other parts of your knowing, for other kinds of creativity.
Trust yourself and the messages IN your body.
Know that the guru, the answers, the teacher you are looking for is inside of you and has been all along.
Take what works; throw out the rest.