At the age of 6 years old, I was convinced I was “fat.” I put myself on my first diet at the age of 9 (restricting and starving). At 13 years old, I purged for the first time. At 17 years old, I was told my heart wasn’t going to make it another year.
I suffered from anorexia and bulimia for decades. I never thought I would heal. I was told this would be me for the rest of my life. The terror I had was that maybe at some point I would look healthy on the outside but still have these demons in my head.
That I would always hate my body, always want to be smaller, always feel dominated by food and looking for the next solution. That my good days would still be determined by how much I weighed or the looseness in my pants. That I would continually give up any real health because to me what mattered was how small I could get. That I couldn’t control myself around food. Oscillating between diets and self-denial to binges I would be ashamed if anyone could ever see.
That I felt like a fraud because I said “yoga saved my life” but at some point yoga felt like a trap, like I needed to have a certain “yoga body” and the guilt if I didn’t have that vegan diet.
You’re not alone in this
Maybe you’ve already done a lot of therapy and psychotherapy. Potentially you’ve been hospitalized. Maybe you turned to yoga as a way to heal.
A client asked me the other day, “I tried everything, what did you and why did it work with you?” Part of it is that I see you. I take time to know you. We have trust. I also pay attention to what your needs are and I’m mindful at the pace that is best for us to work together.
Also, you’ve got me to keep you accountable. It’s not just 1-2 sessions/week that we meet together. You’ll be sending me daily messages as well. You’re not alone in this.
I also practice energy healing with you. This is also vital. That’s what worked for me. We’re not just working on the physical and mental level. We’re meeting your emotional self, your astral self and the very subtle parts of yourself. You’re going to wake up to a whole new world of sensing yourself that will feel like magic.
When I first heard of Cat I was immediately ‘attracted’ and watched all her content on YouTube. At this time I had no clue that she also has had an eating disorder like me, or maybe not a conscious level. But then life took over again and I forgot.
Maybe it was not the right time.
One year passed, then I saw that she is offering this training for eating disorders and although I felt a strong pull to do it, my mind remained skeptical. I considered myself as healed – like this almost healed, free from purging-and-extreme-starvation-state. Yes, little restriction here and there, some binges, yes – but who does not? And my obsession about sport – also quite normal in these times right? And the self-doubt and shame I felt about my body?
Well, also quite normal as a woman in our society. And nobody could see that anyways.
As I learned in this training there is a huge difference between being free from classical eating disorder behavior and being healed on a physical, mental and emotional level. I am a psychologist, well educated in science and did a lot of psychotherapy before. I also had been to India for a long time and studied Yoga for quite a time. I thought that I tried all – but what Cat offered was completely new to me.
Words are far not enough to express how thankful I am for meeting Cat, for having had the courage to give the training a try and now to be able to share what I have learned with others. Cat really is a holistic teacher, healer - and a phenomenal woman. I can recommend this training form the bottom of my heart.